How Does Gender Affect How We Define and Experience Safety?

Writer: Greta Hanson

In seventh grade, I wrote a murder mystery. It was for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and I decided I wanted to write something suspenseful, dramatic, and gory. It centered around a young girl who had been murdered and left to wrought in the Hudson River, with local children solving her murder when the police failed. Unintentionally, it was a story about safety. However, I had left out one of the most integral aspects of safety in our society–identity.

In an attempt to truly understand the themes that I had ignored as an over-excited thirteen-year-old, I pondered one question. How does gender affect how we define and experience safety?

Interviewing MPA students to learn their perspectives, I asked, "How would you define safety?" I got a wide range of ideas and interpretations.

There were straightforward answers,

“Not being in imminent bodily harm." (he/him)

“Feeling secure and not in danger." (he/him)

“The feeling of not having to worry about physical, emotional, or mental harm." (she/her)

More philosophical ones,

“Safety depends on the type of person. One could perceive the idea of safety as being alone. The other could perceive the idea of safety as being around multiple people. Personally, I feel like it's somewhere in the middle."(he/they)

And answers that related more closely to my interpretation of safety.

“Not having to live in fear that your life and ability to live in the world [will be] questioned because of who you are." (they/them)

“Feeling protected… knowing I can do whatever I’m doing without being hurt." (she/her).

As a feminine presenting individual, I related to the comments both about tangible safety and a sense of community. The building of community is a way to build a sense of security. A “safety net.” The reassurance that even if you fall there will be something or someone to catch you. This community or safety net was a common response to my second question, “where do you feel the safest?"

“At my house sometimes, and at school and with my friends.” (she/her).

“Around my friends." (he/him)

“When I’m around people who understand me and accept me.” (she/her)

“Around close friends I trust." (he/they)

The common thread in the answers I received was trust; the trust that people had in their environment, like their school or home, or the trust they had in the people around them. The combat to insecurity and uncertainty is trust.

Additionally, I was surprised by the many commonalities between all of the answers I received. While some discussed safety as a lack of judgment for ones' identity, most did not hinge on identity for their personal sense of security. It hinged on their environment. In general, safety is less about the individual and more about the setting and situation. Identity plays less and less of a role when trust and bonds play more of a role. The implications of gender on assurance will continue to dwindle when communities are built for the purpose of developing trust and safety.

“[Safety is] feeling welcomed, accepted, regardless of my differences to the people around me…[I feel the least safe] in a room with people who aren't like me, who I don't relate with." (she/her)

This student also discussed feeling unsafe when her identity was skipped over, ignored by those around her. She said she felt the safest in an environment where people put in the effort to understand her differences.

Without developing communities and attitudes built on trust and connection, safety will not be universal. Without universal safety, security for some ends up being the epitome of vulnerability and insecurity for others.

Gender and safety are uniquely intertwined, but the biggest clash with safety is not gender identity. It is when that identity is ignored or rejected, that insecurity takes hold. Luckily, the solution is simple. Connection, trust, and unconditional communities. Not built for one but all.